‘Watch and pray, that you don’t enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak’
Matthew 26:41 WEB
“You say that you’re not ready for sex but you’re in love, he says if you really love him, you will give it up”
I wish I had heard this song before I lost my virginity, its one of those songs that encourages thought. If you’re lucky enough to be given the choice whether to have sex or not, then you should be wise enough and confident enough to say no and wait for marriage (don’t get married just for sex). There are people all over the world who are being forced into marriages as children, girls and boys who are being raped and molested, we should appreciate the opportunity and freedom God has given us to say no and have those words be respected. A friend once told me –
“Saying no empowers yes…”
I can only say this now, because after I lost my virginity, I felt very stupid and very vulnerable and it took me years to realise how distressed I was about having sex with someone I love and being dumped a few months later. The gossiping made it worse and my sex life quickly spiralled out of control, it became an activity to occupy my boredom and loneliness. All my insecurities were buried under lust and sexual immorality. I was lucky enough to have a science teacher, who was like a second mother to me (just not as strict), she prepared me for the whispers and the finger-pointing that came as a result of having sex with the wrong person, someone who isn’t discreet, someone who is very unapologetic for causing you hurt.
So follow the main message of Lyfe Jennings’ song to be responsible for your actions, and don’t allow anyone to pressure or persuade you into doing something that is truly irreversible.
“So what am I to do, a part of me wants you … I’m fixing to leave before it gets too late”
This was a song I head growing up, which cautioned me about temptation, and depicted the way in which I felt just before giving in to sex. Now, I want to be celibate, I don’t want to have meaningless sex, I don’t want to have sex outside of marriage, how can I prevent it? First and foremost there is nothing more effective than prayer, talk to God, he already knows your hearts desires, tell him your fears and struggles, ask him to deliver you out of sexual temptation and sexual immorality. Because his word specifically instructs you to do so –
‘Watch and pray, that you don’t enter into temptation’ Matthew 26:41 (WEB)
Avoid situations that you know are going to lead to sex. Don’t go to his/her house, or allow him/her to come to your house, alone, in the evening and expect the flesh to be satisfied with an innocent chat. The flesh wants what it wants, and if you under-estimate your flesh, then you’ll learn the hard way as I did that –
‘The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak’
Matthew 26:41 (WEB)
So if you do have a boy/girlfriend or a love interest of some sort, then go out, what ever you do don’t stay in! Go to the theatre, arcade, dinner, skating (even though I can’t skate) – basically very public places with lots of distractions so even if you are tempted, the opportunities are very limited. Try to respect one another, don’t be the cause of someone else’s guilt and sin. And if you’re single like me, yes you’ll feel lonely at times, and you may feel desperate for attention. But surround yourself with like-minded Christians that will be honest with you and value the word of God as much as you do, so you can help each other, it could be a mentor or a friend. Works for me!