BEING SINGLE IS BEING WEALTHY
Many of us don’t understand just how privileged we are even before we say “I do”.
Let me explain.
When you are single you have a currency £$ of potential at your disposal. A blank chequer.
You have access to a savings account banked with:
Whilst we’re single, the time we have for ourselves is probably at its maximum. Because we don’t (yet) have the responsibilities (privileges *wink*) of attending to and loving our spouse 24/7, as well as all the other responsibilities that come with married life – we are able to focus more on ourselves. This is the perfect season to discover your likes and dislikes, your skills, your strengths, your weaknesses and do something with and about them.
When we are single, we have a wealth of potential. Although God is penning our lives, He has already instilled in us desires, passions and talents that He wants us to invest into the world around us for His glory. Like the parable of the talents: The servant given one talent made two mistakes.
1. He was afraid and as children of God fear cannot be part of our vocabulary. Don’t be afraid of failure – He who started a work in you will be faithful to complete it. Oh and don’t believe the lies, when they tell you that you have to be a damsel in distress before your knight in shining armour can come and “rescue you” – I’ve been saved once already – by JESUS – so thanks but no thanks. And Guys, she doesn’t have to see you as her hero before you believe she really likes you.
And 2. He was lazy. As children of God we are called to a life of service, exploits and prosperity – just like Christ, just like the many examples of men and women of God in the bible. People who worked hard like David, lived sacrificial and obedient lives like Abraham and served God courageously like Deborah. So this is the perfect time to take those godly risks and put your gifts and ambitions into practice. Don’t wait till you marry to become successful, take the talents God has given you to the exchangers now! Like the good and faithful servants.
What talents do you have?
What skills do you take for granted?
Start with asking God what He wants you to invest in.
Ladies we don’t need to hang around idle, waiting for our other half to notice us. And Gents, you don’t have to considered every girl you come across and find your wife through trial and error.
Be sure of this, if you make yourself available to God and fix your eyes on Him, He will not hide a good thing from your sight.
Being single is being rich with potential.
So start fulfilling your God-given potential today.
Waiting with a purpose is sure to be a better experience than rushing through life’s seasons without one. May God pave our paths with His instruction, His mercy and His grace in Jesus name amen.
Stay tuned for the next post on being Single and Rich!
Peace & Love
Did you know that it says in the bible that man should seek peace and work for it?
1 Peter 3:11
Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. (KJV)
He must stop doing evil and do good. He must look for peace and work for it. (NCV)
As children of light, peace is one of our inheritances in the spiritual body of Christ. However, peace like all the fruits of the spirit require discipline, work and endurance. Most of us don’t wake up in the morning being very patient or very gentle people, it requires consecration and the grace of God.
Recently I regained peace in my heart after de-cluttering my heart from past regrets, bitterness and iniquity. I began to pray and fast with a purpose, asking God to heal my heart. As the Holy Spirit delivered me from habitual sin and a broken heart, I found that my heart was silent from aches and pains and moans and groans, which had burdened me for years. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t in pursuit of any relationship or trying to please and prove myself to anyone – trust me when I say it felt good!
However more recently, I’ve been struggling to keep this newly uncovered peace, and it baffled me as to why, when I’d overcome a mountain of stumbling blocks, and I hadn’t reverted back to those old habits.
It so happens that there was a driving force behind my dysfunctional relationships which led me to sin, it was the fear of loneliness and the desire to receive attention, some depiction of love and care. I’m not sure where it all began, but I remember moments in my childhood (and even today) when I felt incredibly alone, though I had siblings, moments where I was floating amongst a multitude of people, unseen and unheard. Times spent desperately clinging on to nice words and ignoring abusive behaviour and neglect which sometimes followed.
So my attention seeking, my need for recognition from others, my desire to be needed, loved and cared for, took new form, in excessive helpfulness at church, at home, wallowing in self-pity about how lonely I was, when I had friends asking me out, wanting to see me and me being “too busy”. And worst of all I became wrapped up in works as evidence of my faith and stopped believing in the salvation I had already inherited by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
The bible says: James 2:24 + 26
Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
However, there is one thing which has absolutely no life in it and that is works without faith – I was slowly slipping into “religiousness“.
As God is now revealing this to me, I invite you to join me on this journey of chasing and nurturing our peace, and exploring the various ways which we can lose peace – although it is our inheritance in Christ.
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
Have a blessed day, peace be with you x
So for those of you who have yet to see my latest video
I basically talk about my decision to study relationships in accordance to the will of God and to use Joshua Harris’ books: I Kissed Dating Goodbye (new edition 2003), Boy Meets Girl – say hello to courtship (2005), Sex Is Not The Problem (Lust Is) (2003)… to edify me on this journey.
Chapter 1 – So This Is Love? :
After reading the first chapter, I was slightly overwhelmed, partially with self pity and partially with guilt. It’s hard to accept that every relationship you’ve had with the opposite sex in relation to romance and otherwise has been one selfish act after the other, hurting you and the recipient. It occurred to me that I really did not understand what it meant to love, especially the opposite sex. I felt sorry for myself, because I felt this may have stemmed from the effects of an absent father figure. Then I felt guilty, for trying to put the blame on my circumstances, and almost making the same tragic mistake again. I don’t think its advisable for any woman or man to involve themselves in a romantic relationship before they learn what it means to love someone, with the love of God as the affection we aspire to connote. That doesn’t mean idolising, but perhaps sacrificing, what makes you feel good for what is best for them, or as Joshua Harris explains in I Kissed Dating Goodbye:
‘Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do what’s in his or her best interest. To care for him or her even when there’s nothing in it for us. To want that person’s purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her’ (2003, p.19)
I had quite an emotional response to this chapter because it hurt to admit that I wasn’t entirely sure how to love someone, as God loves me. All I knew is I hadn’t been applying God’s love to past relationships, romantic and otherwise, spent in tears, loneliness and desperation. So what decision did I take once I experienced this revelation? I prayed to God for forgiveness, for my lack of understanding and selfishness, I surrendered my heart to him and I asked him for guidance and support. I then spoke with my Pastor (which took some courage and humility) and asked for a mentor, to oversee my journey to learn how to be a single Christian, exercising the love of God in all my relationships.
Now I’m excited, because I know the best is yet to come, as I grow closer to God, I get further away from my past and life becomes just that little bit lighter. Of course I want to get married, I can’t stress, just how much I want to get married, but it isn’t the peak of life. To me marriage sounds like a ministry, a means of serving and glorifying God, it requires planning, preparation and God’s support. I look forward to experiencing it by the grace of God, but I know there’s a lot of planning and preparation necessary, if God is to add a relationship and marriage to my testimony.
I pray that those who need to make a similar decision will join me on this journey, to discover how to walk in the love of God, I pray God will forgive us for our selfishness and lack of patience by his mercy, that he will descend upon us the enabling spirit to love as he loves us, to be patient, disciplined and diligent to his will for us in Jesus mighty name, amen. And I pray that he will provide us guidance and mentorship in Jesus name amen.
This performance from P4CM poets Ezekiel and Janette..iks is by far one of the most moving spoken word performances I’ve seen to date (I’m a spoken word artist, so my perception maybe somewhat biased), with the risk of sounding over dramatic. I was deeply inspired, moved, edified by the performance and the lyrical content.
‘I’m trying to remember why I was created’ – How many of us have even asked God this question and genuinely desired an answer, or do we ponder on this questions of purpose as an excuse for not acting? We get so engulfed in trying to behave as Christian as “Christianly” perceivable that God’s purpose for us barely gets a mention. Sometimes the answer is just waiting for a faith-filled silence, on our part, to trust that God knows the desires of our heart and he won’t leave us wanting.
‘Weaving a little bit of his will with a whole lot of mine’ – the whole point of Christianity is complete and total surrenderance, not 20% and not 99%, but entire surrenderance to the will of God. The more we surrender to his will, the further forward we move.
‘My love is based and his love is based on how I feel’ – Too often we allow our emotions to delegate the choices we make, I’m angry right now so I’m going to eat my feelings, I’m lonely so I’ll go and see her – who will make me feel worse than I previously felt, I’m jealous so I’ll tell her secrets or point out his flaws. To be gentle (One of the fruits of the spirit) is the antithesis of losing control of one’s behaviour because of one’s emotions or basing a decision on emotions alone, without asking or receiving instruction from God.
May God enable us to be patient in love, especially loving him and led by his guidance and not our desires in Jesus name amen. x
Video version of the love poem, let me know your responses guys x
Love is often misrepresented in our failed and disruptive relationships, there is only one true and consistent representation of love and this is revealed to us in God, in his sacrificing of his only Son in order to pay the debt for our sins – John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – you may have heard this verse a few times, or read it just as often. But we should ask God to enlighten our spirits and teach our hearts just how great, powerful and enduring His love for us is, and ask God to teach us how to truly love, that we may not try to receive it or demand it from men/boys and women/girls who are unable to offer God’s perfect love. Amen in Jesus name
May God bless you and meet you at your point of need in Jesus name amen. x